of having my family and closest girlfriends here.
one of them is getting married, many of them are busy with their own lives, and one of them is attached recently.
have i told you how happy i feel for you both?
and in fact, the very moment i received the good news from you both are one of the very rare moments i remember myself feeling utterly happy within.
Surprisingly, my mom was asking me the other day if someone was a good person this and that and she actually told me to think about it if i found the right one.lol i burst out laughing and couldnt stop..thats the FIRST time of her telling me that..my parents had been lenient all this while, this being said, they still prefer me to have my significant other half after i graduate. No rush for all these years..for i believe in what i believe in. Thought its just funny and cute to hear that from my mom..haha
more importantly, i'm still trying to fix my internal issues.
I've never thought I could feel like this ever again. Or maybe more. I still remember vividly of how hurt I felt when he and I separated years before. I broke down and thought that was it, I could never feel and give like this again.
And after so long, again i did, and still do.
an inspiration in my life, an influence for the good.
and after all the times i have come to know this person, I realized the one missing element that I, unknowingly had been trying to look for from another person.
and with his presence, it just happens so naturally.
of what's established.
of the divine connection.
and everything seems to fall onto the right place, where it should be.
I was less concerned about the people I don't know or randomly meet who ask for help but because of you, I started to do more good for knowing you, you'll help the best you could and this inspired me.
You let me know how
to see things in a different perspective, with emotions but less emotional. Though many times, I still failed in the end.
to reveal the beauty in so many things I didn't know existed.
to understand issues I never knew I could.
to realize the power of chip. And how much it impacts me in and out.
It's no longer about just having the passion but there is a deeper meaning attached to it.
for the inspiration of wanting to be a better person, do not complicate things, do not lie, and be open, honest, and patient with the ethics of care and love.
and there and then I know it's going to be hard to be completely out of this for all the influence imposed over me and my life.
but the gist of what I want to say is that there is a difference between feeling so for an unattached person and otherwise.
however willing I am to discover with patience and perseverance, it's an altogether different thing under both situations.
The fact of the matter is it is not just my feelings, but with my feelings, how much discomfort, anger, guilt, disappointment and unanswered questions I'm bringing to the others.
and as time passes, I can see myself becoming more and more demanding, filled with so much negativity.
I get jealous, impatient, annoyed, and grumpy so easily, my mood swings like ferrari speed, my negativity almost always overpowers my positivity.
At times, I’ve been storing so much negativity within me, but after awhile it seems to have evolved into something else and made me feel like i want to take back everything i said about wishing this had all never happened.
and I couldn't constantly be expressing to the closest ones.
with that bit of rationality, I'm trying to hold control over things and my emotions.
I felt like I gave in to my emotions more that I was supposed to, and every time is another stepping stone to a growing emotional need.
I care for you, an awful lot.
Never told you I needed you, so very much.
That every time of standing up strong makes me feel weaker inside.
I have no idea how great is my capacity to handle that mushrooming feeling and all that comes along with it.
I can see myself nearing the edge yet I'm clueless of what I would do when I'm there.
It's okay to have emotions but I really don't want to be emotional.
I just want to use my every bit of capacity to do what is right.
with a smile on my face and strength within, because I understand.
and i really do care.
I want to do it.
your happiness matters as much as mine.
I’m growing up and learning so much. I’m becoming the better, stronger person that you'll be proud of. jst like how i am of you.
and you'll always be one of my inspirations in life.
one of them is getting married, many of them are busy with their own lives, and one of them is attached recently.
have i told you how happy i feel for you both?
and in fact, the very moment i received the good news from you both are one of the very rare moments i remember myself feeling utterly happy within.
Surprisingly, my mom was asking me the other day if someone was a good person this and that and she actually told me to think about it if i found the right one.lol i burst out laughing and couldnt stop..thats the FIRST time of her telling me that..my parents had been lenient all this while, this being said, they still prefer me to have my significant other half after i graduate. No rush for all these years..for i believe in what i believe in. Thought its just funny and cute to hear that from my mom..haha
more importantly, i'm still trying to fix my internal issues.
I've never thought I could feel like this ever again. Or maybe more. I still remember vividly of how hurt I felt when he and I separated years before. I broke down and thought that was it, I could never feel and give like this again.
And after so long, again i did, and still do.
an inspiration in my life, an influence for the good.
and after all the times i have come to know this person, I realized the one missing element that I, unknowingly had been trying to look for from another person.
and with his presence, it just happens so naturally.
of what's established.
of the divine connection.
and everything seems to fall onto the right place, where it should be.
I was less concerned about the people I don't know or randomly meet who ask for help but because of you, I started to do more good for knowing you, you'll help the best you could and this inspired me.
You let me know how
to see things in a different perspective, with emotions but less emotional. Though many times, I still failed in the end.
to reveal the beauty in so many things I didn't know existed.
to understand issues I never knew I could.
to realize the power of chip. And how much it impacts me in and out.
It's no longer about just having the passion but there is a deeper meaning attached to it.
for the inspiration of wanting to be a better person, do not complicate things, do not lie, and be open, honest, and patient with the ethics of care and love.
and there and then I know it's going to be hard to be completely out of this for all the influence imposed over me and my life.
but the gist of what I want to say is that there is a difference between feeling so for an unattached person and otherwise.
however willing I am to discover with patience and perseverance, it's an altogether different thing under both situations.
The fact of the matter is it is not just my feelings, but with my feelings, how much discomfort, anger, guilt, disappointment and unanswered questions I'm bringing to the others.
and as time passes, I can see myself becoming more and more demanding, filled with so much negativity.
I get jealous, impatient, annoyed, and grumpy so easily, my mood swings like ferrari speed, my negativity almost always overpowers my positivity.
At times, I’ve been storing so much negativity within me, but after awhile it seems to have evolved into something else and made me feel like i want to take back everything i said about wishing this had all never happened.
and I couldn't constantly be expressing to the closest ones.
with that bit of rationality, I'm trying to hold control over things and my emotions.
I felt like I gave in to my emotions more that I was supposed to, and every time is another stepping stone to a growing emotional need.
I care for you, an awful lot.
Never told you I needed you, so very much.
That every time of standing up strong makes me feel weaker inside.
I have no idea how great is my capacity to handle that mushrooming feeling and all that comes along with it.
I can see myself nearing the edge yet I'm clueless of what I would do when I'm there.
It's okay to have emotions but I really don't want to be emotional.
I just want to use my every bit of capacity to do what is right.
with a smile on my face and strength within, because I understand.
and i really do care.
I want to do it.
your happiness matters as much as mine.
I’m growing up and learning so much. I’m becoming the better, stronger person that you'll be proud of. jst like how i am of you.
and you'll always be one of my inspirations in life.
1 comment | Leave a comment
